Merry Meet, PHOENIX D'MAGUS
I am Xenosone, an elder. Normally I keep to myself, but sinse you asked, I will offer you my impressions from your post, for what it is worth. This will be an esoteric answer because that is where I live. Perhaps others can give you a “fix” and “fiddle” answer if this is of no use to you.
One truth I have learned it that we all create our own realities. If it is in your life; you put it there. This should not be confessed with “right” or “wrong” “good” or “bad”. These are judgments and filter our experiences.
You said you “live in a house full of idiots”, that you are awaken by strong voices and high volume music, and that
these intrude on your sanctuary.
A few observation, No one can hurt you without your permission. You must give them that power. In those times in my life when I found myself in disruptive situations; I would stop and ask myself, "why did I put myself here", "what value can I gain from this experience", and "do I choose to continue in this situation".
Knowing that I am a powerful energy in this universe, I then make the adjustments that benefit me. Although it sometimes took awhile before the universe “arranged” things for me to proceed. Holding the “space” or “energy” eventually created the results I intended.
As far as the person sharing the news that “jesus loves you”, well, of course he does! Everyone “loves” you!!! Even if they have significant barriers to realizing it! It's so obvious. As far as the “bird” and rage and vibrating nerves; to be honest from my own youthful experience, when I did that, I later realized that it was me having fun when I did it. I just thought I was upset to add to the “drama”. More fun that way.
Ahh, the Blessed full moon! I can not imagine living on a planet without at least one moon! I think what you call “anger” is in reality unchanneled energy of the moon running through you. As a wiccan you would be very susceptible. I suggest it is not a method of “calming down” you require put, perhaps a way of channeling this energy. Find activities that will be of positive benefit during the full moons.
Sage, Cloves and cinnamon all powerful plants, all they require is a path within to work their magik. May I suggest that perhaps you look and see if the path within you is open to their benefits?. After all the “church” has been burning powerful plants in their rituals sense they stole it from the Pagan without ever reaching the some benefits the Pagans derived from them.
If all else fails and you do find that you “exploded all over someone, try not to forget to thank them! After all, why would they be there in the first place if not for you to explode on. After all you can not really hurt them without their permission!
Blessed Be~~~~~~
